Thursday, December 11, 2014

Perils of Urbanisation

I landed at Rajiv Gandhi International Airport, Hyderabad at 8 pm. A grand 3 tiered building. The people who I was supposed to meet could not pick me up, my uncle who lived there was insistent that he pick me up but I demurred. He also had a wedding to attend. I was competent, capable  and would find my way to his place.
We got off the aircraft and had two touts following us asking if we wanted a cab into the city. Meru cabs is what I wanted, I knew they were on GPRS and had a registration counter, a safe way of traversing the 40 Kms to my destination.
I was directed to the ground floor, I walked down the walkway and saw many shops but no cab counter. I asked a busy looking guy for the Meru cab counter. He said he was the cab service and would take me to a taxi. He whisked my suitcase off the trolley. I was armed with a book, shawl, a box of sweets and my handbag. An armful! I was grateful for the suitcase being carried for me and rushed after the guy ostensibly to the waiting taxi.
The parking lot is quite a distance from the main building, across a well maintained road with plants and bushes lining the edges. I thought the taxi stand was a wee distance away. We were walking at a brisk pace, meanwhile a niggling worry had begun to assail me, the stand couldn’t be so far. The guy reassured me and walked sure footedly to a parked Indica. I freaked out, it was NOT a radio taxi. I asked him for his ID which he produced which said nowhere that he belonged to a taxi service. There was not a soul in sight, an attendant, a police kiosk.
Dread was setting in and I texted the car no to my uncle and family. They wondered why and called back. Not wanting to panic them unnecessarily, I reassured them that this was a routine measure I followed when travelling alone. I was wondering how to get out of the ostensibly tricky situation, when an elderly gentleman drove up. He probably noticed my panic. I asked him if he could drop me to the nearest taxi stand. His wife said something in the local dialect. He asked me where I was headed and said he would drop me as he would be going there as well.
Hugely relieved we extricated my suitcase from the clutches of a reluctant driver, I choose to assume he was reluctant because he lost some anticipated earnings. We headed towards the city, a beautiful drive and crossed a 13 km flyover, very well appointed but there was again not a soul in sight. The original so called cab would have hopefully taken me home but what if… I was edgy thinking of the 13 km stretch with cars whizzing by and not a human being to call out to if there was a problem.
The gentleman and his wife were messiahs. They had driven almost 70kms extra to drop me home. They sensed my panic and wished to ensure a safe journey for me. Needless to say my uncle was livid. My aunt pointed out that the car number plate could have been false. If something had to happen…
I am liberal, progressive and have dealt with various unsavoury elements at home singlehandedly. I have a loud voice which my family is convinced will drive anyone away. However that day, there were possibilities of things going horribly wrong. I had lost my voice. I was quiet, unable to walk away as the distance to the main building was long and deserted.
On hind sight, someone said I should have taken my suitcase and walked away. I had stuff in my hand, the walk was long, and I could have been dragged into a shady green verge. Maybe I should have left my suitcase  behind. But should I have assumed the worse?
The Delhi Nirbhaya incident had driven an unnecessary caginess in my mind. Were these unnecessary delusions, unfounded fears?
Again I rewind to a late night film at a local mall, my car parked on the rooftop for want of space in the lower slots. When the movie got over there was not a person there, my car stood alone. Maybe a blessing. I rushed in and drove out at breakneck speed. Scared in the pits of my stomach, of inane possiblities. Why?
Urbanisation brings with it self contained well designed facilities with seamless operations, without manual interventions. The secluded mall parking lot, the 13 km flyover, the empty bus easily available at night have indubitably made life easier, but are we easy prey for the hunter, on the prowl for a booty or to satisfy his lust? Would a friend have made a difference? Or should we as women stay at home as godmen and politicians are brouhahaing from the podia. No!
I wonder if it is not a prerogative of the administration to provide safety for everyone regardless. Is it only women? Or also men. Children. The less affluent. ALL. ALL have a right to demand systems to ensure security, physical and emotional. The two I daresay may be symbiotic.
I have chosen a life with my own space to do what I can and want. I need to be able to live without lurking fears of the unknown! I am fearful.  Why?  Because I am a woman. Perceived as the weaker sex. Not strong enough to take on six men. But strong within. Never am I going to whimper to my so called brothers. I want to be able to walk freely on the road anywhere, and do as I please without looking over my shoulders. Ever!

Jyoti, the light. Amen!

Monday, April 28, 2014

Eureka Ma moment

Yesterday, I cried yet again but this time they were unconditional tears of joy...
I am overwhelmed by the response to a pic I posted on Facebook. As a rule I never share personal info or photos on Facebook.
It was a eureka “MA” moment when I did and now I am indulging the temptation to share the story...
Shouri is a superb Jazz pianist, self taught  and acknowledged as such. Having passed with merit from SXC he was in a dilemma... Music was his passion, only  love, dream, but he figured it could not sustain his lifestyle choices. He had to sort it out for himself. I have been a hands off,  undemanding Ma. My kids have never had exemplary results  in school, their school projects were never perfect cos they did it themselves. They studied without tuitions. I had reassured them that I would be proud of them even if they sold puchkas. J
He applied and got fully paid Commonwealth and Erasmus scholarships and admissions to Sorbonne, Milan, Belgium. But he turned them down. He did not want to do his Masters in Economics even if it was free. He cleared his CAT with merit and was given a complimentary admission to S P Jain and interview calls to IIM’s. He never went. I was heartbroken. Meanwhile he worked hard at my Test prep initiative OPUS and resurrected it. I had no clue as to what the kid really wanted.
The jig saw puzzle fitted some time back. He always had the American dream but we could never afford to send him. He wanted to go to the USA – the Best – Harvard, Tuck Booth for which he needed commensurate work-ex and he wanted to earn his way. He applied to many Companies, I was clueless. Future First is an Israeli Investment Banking Company trading on LIBOR. The interview was over two days. They screened 10, 000+ candidates pan India all mainly from IIT’s IIM’s. I was sure he would never make it. He did. He was one of the 30 selected.
I am proud! Super proud. He has done it on his own...
Likewise Shaunak was determined to do Law but despite having the ability to go to NLS NUJS, he was determined to go to Hazra, a local almost Mofussil college. He was confident that if he had the ability he would make it from anywhere. I was not at all sure. He was given a launch pad with a dear friend an eminent Barrister Mr M. As other senior legal brethren congratulate us on Shaunak’s achievements in three years I am relieved he did justice to our friend’s faith in him. Thank u Mr and Mrs M for a dream break.
I struggled, life was never easy, I never asked God for much but HE has given me the world in my super star sons...
My kids,  I never could give them much but they have given me the world again...
I had a dream when I did my CA and Law. I got an all India rank  and was placed in PWC which I never took up. I wanted to be on the Fortune 500 when life demanded a payback.
I daresay I am now a proud Fortune 500 Ma!

PS  I would like to thank my parents who gave me the courage to dream the impossible and the fortitude to make it come true!